by Kiki Nelson | Jun 14, 2017 | Diet, Ettiquette, Events, Holidays, Host, Hostess
My trip to Kuwait coincides with Ramadan. I won’t even attempt to explain this observance from a religious or historical perspective because I don’t have the appropriate knowledge. But here’s what it’s like for an American, who is not Muslim, visiting Kuwait during this major religious observance.
Ramadan lasts a full a cycle of the moon, which is about 30 days. Ramadan moves earlier by ten days every year. This means Ramadan is experienced in every season. You cannot eat or drink anything (including water) from sunup to sundown. All restaurants are closed until sundown. There are exceptions to the fasting requirement such as pregnant women, the elderly, the infirm, and children. However, even those with exceptions are expected to eat and drink in private so as not to disrespect those who are fasting. This is also true of people who are not Muslim. No one is going to come after you for eating or drinking in private during Ramadan. However, I met one American woman who was pulled over because an officer saw her drinking water in her car during the day. She was given a strong rebuke and sent on her way.
The fast is broken at sundown with what is called Iftar or Futoor. This is analogous to a Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings, but for 30 days straight! So far I’ve been to an extended-family futoor and a futoor that celebrated the birth of a baby. Tonight my hosts celebrate futoor in their home with friends of their own age.
Futoor dishes are both savory and sweet. Spices, and combinations of spices, are as important as the protein, vegetable, or starch on which they ride. You’ll find cardamom, clove, cinnamon, saffron, rose water, allspice, mace, black pepper, white pepper, and bay leaf. Most of these spices are used in both savory and sweet dishes.
Lamb and beef are popular in futoor dishes and fancy rice is ubiquitous. According to the dietary laws of Halal, animals must be raised and killed humanely. I have yet to eat plain white rice in Kuwait, and haven’t missed it. There are a variety of sauces, many of which are yogurt based. Along with olive oil and various vinegars, I’ve also found good old hot sauce on most tables. Regardless of the many explanations I’ve been given, I’m still not sure what goes with what. But it all seems to go together just fine.
There are a number of desserts associated with Ramadan, one of which is Lugaimat; fried dough balls soaked in saffron-sugar syrup. But there is one treat in particular that everyone rhapsodizes about and eagerly anticipates. It’s called Kunafa. Every family has its own recipe, but basically it’s really good soft cheese (think mozzarella), wrapped in sweet thin noodles (think vermicelli), deep fried, sprinkled with pistachios, and drizzled in honey. It is cheesy goodness from heaven, regardless of your religion.
There is also a version of trick-or-treat in Kuwait during Ramadan called Gerggian. Children dress up in traditional costumes and go from door to door in their neighborhoods. They sing songs, beat drums, and are given goo gobs of candy and treats. Remember when you were a kid and there was that one neighbor who gave out full-sized candy bars at Halloween? EVERY house is like that during Gerggian in Kuwait. Kuwaitis are crazy about their kids. Gerggian goes on for two or three consecutive nights. Some families hire a horse and carriage for Gerggian. My hosts’ two-year-old boy has been saying, “BIG WHITE ‘ORSE!” for the past week.
During Ramadan in Kuwait, many of the businesses will be open in the morning, close down about noon, and then re-open after sunset. Kuwait City comes alive at night and it’s a little weird for me to sit in traffic jams after midnight that have nothing to do with a sporting event or concert. You see young children running around at full tilt long past what we would consider a normal bedtime. But that’s what’s great about traveling to places with different cultures; you get the chance to rethink your definitions.
Kuwaiti women always dress up in public, but during Ramadan they wear gorgeous outfits that look like museum pieces. I feel mighty shabby in my tourist gear, but there’s no way I could pull off one of these outfits, nor am I expected to.
Well, it’s time to start prepping for tonight’s futoor. Not only are my tourist outfits shabby, they’re also getting pretty tight around the waist.
Thank you for visiting,
Kiki
by Kiki Nelson | Jun 7, 2017 | Host, Hostess
We left our house near Richmond Virginia at 4:00 p.m. and got to Dulles Airport in good time and with surprising little traffic. Found long term parking and hopped the shuttle to the international terminal.
Our tickets identified our airline as American operated by Etihad. There was very little American involved. By the time the Etihad counter opened there were probably more than a hundred people in line to check in, fortunately we were near the front.
Dulles was originally designed so no traveler would have to walk more than a few hundred yards. Unfortunately, that is no longer true. Next was security, which was a walk but easy and fast. Dulles has the full- body scanner for adults. They have a simple walk-through metal detector for children, which I thought was interesting. More walking to find the trolley which has very few seats. Once we located the gate, we doubled back to a restaurant for drinks and dinner.
We boarded the plane at 9:55 p.m. and passed through Business Class on our way to steerage. Our seats were the last in the section, backed up to a wall, and next to the bathroom. Etihad is not generous with space. We had about two feet between our foreheads and the seats in front of us.
For the next 13 hours, I tried to find a comfortable position to sleep. This never happened, although I did catch a few naps due to sheer exhaustion. The flight staff was very nice and accommodating. In fact they seemed to take it personally when you turned something down. Our fellow travelers were extremely mellow and while we had the requisite screaming babies, they only fussed for takeoff and landing. I have no room complain, having subject my fellow travelers to my screaming children many years ago.
Even with the frequent feedings, movies, television shows, and plentiful bathrooms, thirteen hours is a long time on a plane. I felt fidgety and stiff. Before we touched down in Abu Dhabi an announcement reminded us we are in Ramadan and there would be no food available in the terminal until sunset.
We were nervous about the transfer in Abu Dhabi to our flight to Kuwait, but no need. Other than another long walk, all went well. We boarded the next flight which was on time. Again great service from the Etihad flight staff. The plane wasn’t full so we could spread out a bit for the two hour flight.
Our hosts arranged for a service at the Kuwait Airport that picked up us at the gate and shepherded us through the passport and visa processes. I strongly recommend this to anyone traveling to the Middle East for the first time. Our guide took our passports and led us to the first stop, a big shiny room where our guide obtained our visas at a desk that looked a lot like a DMV counter. Then we lined up to get our photos and fingerprints taken. This uber ID requirement has been on the books for a while but apparently a new airport manager just started to enforce it. This was the longest wait we had on the trip. Despite two stations, there was only one technician and each traveler took about 5 minutes to process. We were lucky to be at the head of the line. Apparently this identification process can take up to four hours on a busy day.
We went back to the counter to get our passports stamped then were finally set free to claim our luggage. This was the point at which we were united with our host who drove us to his home in Jabriya where we were welcomed with fresh fruit, vegies, and hummus dip. Delicious!
Despite the length of the trip, I really can’t complain. We were treated with respect and a varying degree of efficiency at each juncture. My big question is, how do the disabled, elderly, and people with children do this! There was one woman with three small children, one of whom was a babe in arms. The walking, waiting, standing, and prolonged sitting involved in a trip from Dulles to Kuwait are substantial. I was physically and mentally DONE by the time I finally got to my destination. The second thing that struck me was how patient everyone was. Good heavens, don’t you people realize what a pain this is? Shouldn’t we all be grumpy and whining?! My fellow travelers shamed me into behaving myself, especially the children.
That’s it for now, because while my body has no idea what time it is, it knows it needs a nap.
Thank you for visiting.
Kiki
by Kiki Nelson | May 24, 2017 | Events, Holidays, Host, Hostess
I live near Richmond, Virginia and when folks come to visit I always suggest they visit Hollywood Cemetery. I often get the following reaction, “Ugh! Why would I want to spend time visiting a depressing cemetery?!”
Well here’s why…you dolt!
I have been to many “famous” cemeteries and none of them hold a candle to Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond. First of all it has a breathtaking location right on the James River filled with gorgeous trees, landscaping, and architecture. Many of the monuments and headstones are works of art, including a cast iron Newfoundland Dog that guards the grave of his little girl who died 150 years ago. There are numerous tours, ghost walks, and other guided activities. If nothing else, it’s a lovely walk and good exercise.
Then, there’s the history. Stay with me here.
Hollywood Cemetery is the final resting place of two presidents. Three, if you count Jefferson Davis. It’s also called the “Arlington of the South” because many of the confederate dead are buried here. A huge stone pyramid was erected in their honor. According to Time and Date, Hollywood Cemetery was a big part of the impetus for what we now celebrate as Memorial Day.
“Memorial Day started as an event to honor Union soldiers who had died during the American Civil War. It was inspired by the way people in the Southern states honored their dead. After World War I, it was extended to include all men and women who died in any war or military action.” https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/memorial-day
With controversy raging in the southern states about statues of confederate leaders, it’s the ideal time to understand how Hollywood Cemetery provides a profound lesson in war and its aftermath. That lesson is written on the tombstones of the men who gave their lives to the losing side. The epitaphs struggle to justify and make sense of such sacrifice and it hits you right in the gut when you read them. I get the same feeling when I visit the Vietnam War Memorial in DC.
I don’t think we should glorify the Confederacy, or any government that promoted or condoned the marginalization of human beings, but to bury the Confederacy along with its dead is a mistake. Hollywood Cemetery shows, in a visceral and poignant way, the pain left behind when anyone dies fighting a war, regardless of their uniform. Hollywood Cemetery is the epicenter of that concept and, in the broad scheme of things, every bit as important as Arlington in our Nation’s story. Just an aside…Arlington was built on the site of Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s former home.
So this Memorial Day as you grill hot dogs and hamburgers, I hope you’ll take just a moment to remember that it all started with tributes to the losers of the American Civil War. While you’re at it, explain that irony to your guests, kids, and the grandkids. Maybe even take them to a cemetery where war dead are buried.
Thank you for visiting.
Kiki
Photo attribution https://www.hollywoodcemetery.org/visit/things-to-see
by Kiki Nelson | May 12, 2017 | Ettiquette, Host, Hostess, Question of the Week
Today’s question is prompted by an anonymous follower who says, “I’d love to hear more factual tips and tricks to hosting.”
First of all a disclaimer, I don’t claim anything on this blog is “factual” except for the address. When I do use “facts” from subject experts they are referenced, usually with a link for more information. In these days of Fake News, Alternate Facts, and Optics (whatever that means) I want to be painfully honest about the material I am disseminating.
With that said, how about some tips on Guest Accoutrements? Or Stuff to Have on Hand for House Guests. This does not include food. That’s for another post.
When my husband and I first set up housekeeping in our “garbage level” apartment, guests were lucky to get a spot on the floor and directions to McDonalds. Strangely enough we still had A LOT of company. Must have been the cable. As we matured, along with our guests, we were able to offer better accommodations.
For beginners, remember you are doing someone a favor. There is no need to go crazy with a bunch of stuff you don’t normally keep on hand and will never use again. At a minimum, you need to offer a place to sleep that is as quiet and private as you can provide along with clean linens and towels. If you cannot provide these basic things, you should let the guest know in advance so they can make arrangements. For instance they may need to bring a sleeping bag or their own pillow, and that’s OK. You should also leave a note on paper with your address, phone number, and—if you trust this guest—you internet access code.
Once you get more established (and have accumulated freebies from enough hotels) there are things you can add to that list. Here’s what Adele from Arkansas suggests:
“Provide a place for their suitcase, some empty horizontal space for them to set out their things, an empty drawer and some empty closet space with hangers, an empty small basket or two. Provide shampoo, conditioner, blow dryer, toothpaste. Have a few feminine products available just in case. Be prepared to provide just about anything—in case their luggage didn’t make it– hair brush, deodorant, new toothbrush (I always have plenty from my trips to the dentist). Have a lined and covered trash container in the bathroom (so that your dog does not get into their trash). Put a container of water and a couple of glasses in their room. Have a throw blanket handy. Be sure to ask if there is anything that they need. Make sure there is a variety of bed pillows – some folks like firm, some like soft and some need an extra pillow for their knees. If possible provide a place to sit and read in their room for when they need some peace and quiet. Provide a radio that is easy to turn on, change channel and set alarm. And, very important, provide some kind of night light so that they can safely find their way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.”
Whew. She’s good!
For the advanced host, I would add to that list: noise machine; flashlight; and brochures from local attractions.
If Adele and I have forgotten anything please let me know in the Comments section below.
Thank you for visiting and I’ll be back on Wednesday with House Guests and Graduations.
Kiki
by Kiki Nelson | May 3, 2017 | Ettiquette, Host, Hostess
This past weekend we were invited to the vacation home of friends in the Blue Ridge Mountains. On Saturday we went for a hike and while scrambling down a fairly steep and rocky path, a voice said, “Now close your eyes.” What!? Then our hostess said, “Damn, that’s my meditation app!” I can see the headlines now, Woman Falls to Her Death While Being Coerced to Meditate on Steep Mountain Trail; Lawsuit Being Considered. When the app continued to nag at her our hostess said, “Boy, she really wants me to meditate.” Our hostess explained that she gets so busy she has to be reminded to relax.
This lovely woman (cheekbones to die for) and her husband have extremely demanding jobs and all the social obligations that come with such jobs. They purchased this weekend home for the express purpose of getting away together and chilling out. This visit to their beautiful weekend home gave me the perfect opportunity to invoke one of my Best Practices for House Guests, Give Your Host Downtime and Privacy. “But Kiki,” you might say, “if they invited us don’t they want to spend time with us?” Yes, they do, but not every minute. No one is that interesting. I have had guests that attach themselves to my hip and quite literally stood at my counter and stared at me while I was trying to prepare a meal. No, go away.
There’s a fine line between giving your hosts downtime and ignoring them. Here are some ideas:
- In the morning, unless you’re on a schedule, linger in your room a little longer than you might normally at home.
- Take a walk.
- Bring lots of reading materials. If you’re tucked in to a novel, it gives your host the option to start a conversation…or not.
- If you knit or crochet, bring it with you. For your host, your project is both an opportunity for down time or a conversation starter.
- You can also fall back on one of my family favorites, take a nap. Naps are the new black.
- Offer (do not insist) to do the dishes and suggest your host relax with a cup of coffee.
- Television is an option but it is the host’s prerogative, not the guest’s. Televised sporting events create chances for folks to wander off for a spell and do their own thing.
- Be careful about spending too much time on your phone as it can give the impression that you prefer the company of people who are NOT there.
I have one frequent house guest who does daily yoga and invites her hosts to participate…or not. I would refrain from relaxation apps because you might fall down a mountain and that would NOT be relaxing for your host.
If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them. The Comments Section is below.
Thank you for visiting.
Kiki
Photo courtesy of https://www.visitroanokeva.com/things-to-do/blue-ridge-parkway/hiking-trails/
