by Kiki Nelson | Aug 8, 2017 | Uncategorized
I am apparently the only human being left in the United States of America who doesn’t like to press her body against complete strangers. You can add semi-strangers, most co-workers, and people I don’t like
to that list. This can make hosting and being hosted awkward at times.
Here’s the scenario. You’re introduced to someone in a social situation and offer your hand. Before you can say, “Get the hell away from me!” the person has pulled you into a bear hug with the oft heard phrase “I’M A HUGGER!” Well guess what? I’m NOT A HUGGER SO DON’T DO IT! I find someone I don’t know taking that kind of intimate physical liberty with me extremely off putting. But what’s a person to do? It all happens so fast. I suppose I could jump back and say, “Sorry, having a nasty flare up,” but not say what I’ve got. Then offer them a lovely snack I’ve made.
And what message does all this stranger hugging send to our kids? We spend every teachable moment telling them people they don’t know are horrible beasts who would kidnap them at the drop of a hat. Then parents demand their children hug and/or kiss perfect strangers on first reference. Words like “Aunt Beatrice” or “Uncle Chuck” don’t mean squat to a toddler. Just once I’d like to hear a little fellow say, “If you like that creepy old lady so much, YOU hug her!”
I have instituted a new tradition with my little friends. When the inevitable instruction to “Give Aunt Kiki a hug” comes, I explain to the parents that I’m against forced hugging. After I’ve gotten to know the little person—and if they’re not covered in some bodily fluid or God awful rash—I give them the choice of a handshake or a hug. I was extremely gratified last Thanksgiving when one of my favorite 5-year- old guests said he’d like both.
Now before you start calling me “cold” or “stand offish” (like my relatives do), I want you to know that I enjoy hugging as much as the next guy. But I consider it a physically intimate gesture best saved for loved ones. Is that really so bad?
Any way. I would seriously like to hear what my readers think and some suggestions from you experienced hosts and hostesses.
Thank you for visiting.
Kiki
by Kiki Nelson | Aug 1, 2017 | Uncategorized
I recently went back to work after a long hiatus. I took a job as a management specialist for a local police department…and I love it! The hours are good, it’s great for my retirement, and the commute is beautiful. I pass Patrick Henry’s house twice a day. Yeah, that Patrick Henry.
But the main reason I like it so much is because my co-workers are so damn nice! They are the world’s best workplace hosts. It’s been almost a month now and I have yet to meet one person who isn’t openly, aggressively, nice! I have worked in law enforcement before and this is not normal. What’s with this place? Is it in the water? Are they piping it in through the air ducts? Have the real people been replaced by the Stepford Staff? Am I next to emerge from my cubicle-pod as a nice employee? I’m already starting to feel nicer a little around the edges. There goes my rep.
Example, the woman who’s training me. After a long session of correcting my numerous mistakes from the previous day with amazing patience…she asks me if I work out because I seem like I’m in good shape. Are you serious? No, I don’t work out and believe me it shows. Are they all blind too?
I have sort of a cubicle-office in the corner. When I pipe in on a conversation from the common area, they refer to me as The Cubicle. “See, I told you so! Even The Cubicle agrees with me.” Because of my cubicle’s placement there are two male officers I can hear but not see. They are hilarious and I call them Lucy and Ethel (only in my head). The other day they got some new camera equipment that they were just gaga about. “Oh my gosh, it’s waterproof! That is so cool! Did you take it in the bathtub to check it out?” I finally met them in person the day when I was fighting with my new “Date Received” stamp. I just kept slamming it down harder and harder on my desk waiting for it to submit and release its precious ink. Finally Ethel came over and offered his assistance. Then Lucy piped in as well. I love those guys. Ethel is on vacation this week and I think Lucy kind of misses him.
Of course my perspective may be skewed by that “hiatus” I mentioned earlier. I quit my previous job to finish my degree and it took me a lot longer to get work than I’d expected. We’re talking a soul killing long time. So maybe I’m just really happy to have a J-O-B! And a P-A-Y-C-H-E-C-K. Maybe that’s part of it.
Anyway, thank you for visiting and I hope you have a fabulous day and you look great and I love your outfit and please let me know if you need anything and have a nice weekend.
Kiki
Photo attribution: http://paleocave.sciencesortof.com/2010/07/how-i-spend-my-weekdays/
by Kiki Nelson | Jul 25, 2017 | Travel, Uncategorized
On the very first day of a much-anticipated beach weekend, I got a nasty puncture wound on my forearm. This was last Thursday night. I cleaned it out with hydrogen peroxide, covered it with antibiotic ointment, and checked with my doctor first thing in the morning to make sure my tetanus shot was up to date.
But what about wound care? More importantly, what about wound care at the beach and in the ocean? Despite popular assumptions that salt water is good for healing wounds, OCEAN water is not!
“When you decide to swim with your open wound in the ocean, you give a contact between your wound and this possibly-contaminated water. Besides, ocean water might contain harmful bacteria that can lead your wound to infection.”
“When you have an open wound, especially the big and deep one, its healing process might cause changes to your immunity. You can easily be infected with various kinds of viral and bacterial diseases. This is why swimming in the ocean with an open wound is not the best decision.”
www.woundcaresociety.org
I LOVE to swim in the ocean. I should probably say I love to jump through waves and hang out in the water rather than technical swimming. It’s one of my favorite things to do. This is not to say I don’t have respect for rough water, rip tides, and jelly fish. I’m not stupid.
The surf at Wrightsville Beach in North Carolina this past weekend was perfect. It just doesn’t get any better for someone like me with a longing to frolic in the ocean but the upper body strength of a kitten.
What to do about my wound?
Here’s where the condoms come in. I first got this idea when I was taking care of my mom during chemo and she had a pic line (surgically inserted port) in her upper arm. One of the few things she still enjoyed was baths. So, I got some super-sized condoms, cut the reservoir end off, rolled it up over her arm, and it worked perfectly! A friend of mine got the same advice from the nurse at an infusion center.
I thought to myself, why can’t I do the same thing at the beach?! I did and it worked equally well.
As always, I have some caveats.
I’m not medically trained. Duh. My advice is anecdotal and should be taken with a grain of salt, but not salt from the ocean on an open wound.
I discovered it’s not a good idea to ask your host or hostess if they have a condom you can borrow.
If you have an allergy to latex or embarrassment, this is probably not for you.
You will need to take the following things with you to the beach:
Condoms
Scissors
Fresh, dry bandages
A friend (especially if your wound is on your dominant side)
A sense of humor
Remove the condom by carefully cutting it off as soon as you’re done swimming so you don’t cut off your circulation.
Keep a dry bandage over the wound while you’re on the beach cause who knows what’s in the sand! Probably used condoms.
I prefer unlubricated condoms but apparently they’re hard to find these days. I found this out after having to ask the young, male, pharmacy aid for help. Talk about embarrassing! I can just see his thought bubble, “Yeah, right, it’s for your arm…cougar!”
Anyway, the condoms worked great and I had two days of amazing swimming. And—so far—my arm is still attached to my body.
Thank you for visiting.
Kiki
by Kiki Nelson | Apr 21, 2017 | Animals, Ettiquette, Uncategorized
This week’s question comes from Susan in Virginia:
“What is the best and most polite way to ask for someone to host me for a few days? I’m traveling to the Phoenix area to visit my mom in a nursing home. I used to live there and became friends with a neighbor and even did some pet sitting for him on more than one occasion. His cat and I love one another dearly. I even did a light vacuuming while he was gone for a week at a time. After we moved to Virginia, we stayed in touch and I find I’m going to be back in the Phoenix area in 2 weeks, and hotels and AirBnB are a small fortune after paying for a flight and rental car to go see mom. Is there a nice way to ask to use his spare bedroom without coming off as rude or pushy? If he says no, I’m OK with that. I want your expert opinion before I ask him. Thanks for your advice.”
Great question and one I have both asked and received.
There are two basic approaches.
Inform the prospective host of your upcoming trip and suggest getting together for a drink, cup of coffee, or lunch. If he responds to your correspondence with an invitation to stay at his house, great. If not, you need to be willing to follow through with your get together and pay for it–which is why I suggest an inexpensive visit rather than dinner. Even if he does not take the bait, it may lay the ground work for future visits.
The second option is to simply come right out and ask if you can stay at his home. I would keep it very simple with something like, “I will be in town to visit Mom at the Shady Pines from April 20 to the 24. I was hoping I might stay with you and Mr. Fuzzy Whiskers. I can fend for myself for meals but would like to treat you to dinner one night. Please feel to decline my request, no explanation needed and no hard feelings on my part. There is plenty of time to make other arrangements. If you are not up for hosting, perhaps we could still get together for a visit?” I would not mention the expense factor.
These suggestions are predicated on two basic assumptions: 1) you really enjoy the potential host’s company and genuinely want to spend time with him; 2) you are confident he won’t take this as a romantic overture. That would be awkward at best, cruel at worst.
I hope this helps and you’ll let me know what happens.
Side note: I know how difficult it is to have an elderly relative in a nursing home. Visits are bitter sweet and can be emotionally draining for both parties. We all need to support folks who have had to make this tough transition.
Thank you for visiting,
Kiki
by Kiki Nelson | Mar 31, 2017 | Uncategorized
“Question of the Week” is meant to elicit questions from readers that I can answer AND get feedback from other readers. Nothing is too trivial or too heavy, I just ask that you ask about questions related to hosting and being a houseguest. I’m not prepared to tackle the meaning of life or the reason for the Electoral College.
This week’s “Question of the Week” comes from Judy in North Carolina:
“Should you tell the hostess about a significant mess or handle it yourself?”
Example: It’s Fourth of July and most of the guests at my sister’s lovely home are on the lawn watching fireworks. When I come out of the bathroom and round the corner into the kitchen, my best friend is standing there covered from head to foot in cocoa powder. She looks at me through cascades of brown dust falling from her blond hair and covering her glasses and says, “Don’t worry, I got this.” Then we both started laughing and she had to cross her legs to avoid adding to the mess. Apparently she brought down a huge box of powdered cocoa while reaching for something else high up in a cabinet. We managed to clean it up as best we could and rejoin the party. But here’s the thing, my sister and brother-in-common-law have recently remodeled and are understandably proud of their new kitchen. Should we have grabbed them from the festivities to help us clean it up according to their specs? Should we have told them about the incident afterward, or psych them out with mysterious cocoa powder residue for the next 20 years?
We did tell my sister but only after the other guests had left.
Your thoughts? The comments section is right below this post.
Thank you for visiting,
Kiki
